There are two kinds of people in February: people who love Valentineโs Day and people who loathe it. From my experience, thereโs no one who really sits on the fence.
Stereotypically, the people who love it are in relationships and the people who loathe it are single.
For the first time in five years, Iโll be single this upcoming Valentineโs Day.
I guess you could say Iโm the relationship type. I like being committed to one person.
The relationships Iโve been in have been lengthy and serious, with little time to be single in between.
And in every single one, we did the whole Valentineโs Day thing.
We made dinner reservations at restaurants over our budget. We exchanged cheesy gifts. We went out of our way to see each other even if we worked early the next morning.
And every time, something fell short.
To me, Valentineโs Day is like New Yearโs Eve. If youโre celebrating Valentineโs Day with a significant other, you have all these expectations that itโs going to be the best and most romantic night of your life.
You spend too much money at dinner, you buy lingerie that youโll only wear a handful of times and I guarantee youโll just end up back at home watching some Will Ferrell comedy together that youโd watch on a regular night.
And, if youโre single this year, chances are the world is pressuring you to feel like shit about it on Valentineโs Day.
If you tell your in-relationship friends that youโre spending Valentineโs Day alone with an extra-large pizza and a six-pack of beer, you get a concerned โthereโs always next yearโ look.
As someone who has been in relationships for Valentineโs Day, putting pressure on your relationship to reach some sort of romanticized expectation wonโt make things better.
If dressing up and going to the Bauer Kitchen for dinner seems stiff to you, chances are that it will be.
If you and your significant other arenโt the kind of people who do stuff like that, then you donโt need to. You can still celebrate while staying within your means, without adding pressure.
This year, if I wasnโt working late on Valentineโs Day, God knows Iโd be with friends chugging back beers celebrating alternate forms of love: the love I have for my friends, my family, my coworkers, my dog, and myself.
If youโre single this Valentineโs Day, please do the same. Celebrate the relationships that you have in your life that make you feel good about yourself.
It doesnโt have to be all about sex and lust.
And for those of you celebrating with significant others, go easy on each other. Donโt make unachievable expectations.
If you need a calendar โholidayโ to express the love you have for each other, maybe itโs time to reevaluate your relationship.
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