Not giving into the pressures of Valentine’s Day

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There are two kinds of people in February: people who love Valentineโ€™s Day and people who loathe it. From my experience, thereโ€™s no one who really sits on the fence.

Stereotypically, the people who love it are in relationships and the people who loathe it are single.

For the first time in five years, Iโ€™ll be single this upcoming Valentineโ€™s Day.

I guess you could say Iโ€™m the relationship type. I like being committed to one person.

The relationships Iโ€™ve been in have been lengthy and serious, with little time to be single in between.

And in every single one, we did the whole Valentineโ€™s Day thing.

We made dinner reservations at restaurants over our budget. We exchanged cheesy gifts. We went out of our way to see each other even if we worked early the next morning.

And every time, something fell short.

To me, Valentineโ€™s Day is like New Yearโ€™s Eve. If youโ€™re celebrating Valentineโ€™s Day with a significant other, you have all these expectations that itโ€™s going to be the best and most romantic night of your life.

You spend too much money at dinner, you buy lingerie that youโ€™ll only wear a handful of times and I guarantee youโ€™ll just end up back at home watching some Will Ferrell comedy together that youโ€™d watch on a regular night.

And, if youโ€™re single this year, chances are the world is pressuring you to feel like shit about it on Valentineโ€™s Day.

If you tell your in-relationship friends that youโ€™re spending Valentineโ€™s Day alone with an extra-large pizza and a six-pack of beer, you get a concerned โ€œthereโ€™s always next yearโ€ look.

As someone who has been in relationships for Valentineโ€™s Day, putting pressure on your relationship to reach some sort of romanticized expectation wonโ€™t make things better.

If dressing up and going to the Bauer Kitchen for dinner seems stiff to you, chances are that it will be.

If you and your significant other arenโ€™t the kind of people who do stuff like that, then you donโ€™t need to. You can still celebrate while staying within your means, without adding pressure.

This year, if I wasnโ€™t working late on Valentineโ€™s Day, God knows Iโ€™d be with friends chugging back beers celebrating alternate forms of love: the love I have for my friends, my family, my coworkers, my dog, and myself.

If youโ€™re single this Valentineโ€™s Day, please do the same. Celebrate the relationships that you have in your life that make you feel good about yourself.

It doesnโ€™t have to be all about sex and lust.

And for those of you celebrating with significant others, go easy on each other. Donโ€™t make unachievable expectations.

If you need a calendar โ€œholidayโ€ to express the love you have for each other, maybe itโ€™s time to reevaluate your relationship.


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