Jan. 13, 2010

Cord ImportJanuary 13, 20103 mins read

Dear Life,
Does being a university student require you to look like you just crawled out of a ditch, or is this strictly a Laurier-style? Unkempt hair, track-pants and Ugg boots?? Apparently looking homeless is now a fashion statement.
Sincerely,
Taking Pride in my Appearance

Dear Life,
Am I the only person who doesn’t give a flying alpine skier about the Olympic flame relay? Seriously, how is seeing someone, especially Shania Twain, carrying a flame through her hometown exciting?
Sincerely,
I have Better Things to do

Dear Life,
I do not have a large amount of money. I live on a student’s budget and have worked for the past 3 years to help pay for school. However, I still donate to charity. I do it quietly. I have never gotten a profile with picture in The Cord as large as a student who made a supposed “quiet donation” to health sciences. If it was a “quiet donation,” why are we hearing about it? Donate to something you care about because you care about it, not for recognition.
Sincerely,
Where’s my Picture?

Dear Life,
Winter is my favourite season. The first snow of the year always lights my heart on fire. When I put on a hat and scarf, it’s like I found my destiny! Whenever I walk through the heavy snow, I never want it to end —stepping on crunchy ice is the purest joy in life. Picking icicles is my true passion. I want to slip through the snow squall of love and into the telephone pole of eternal bliss.
Sincerely,
Let’s Make a Snowman Together

Dear Life,
After careful observation I have noticed that overcrowding the doors to N1001 in the Science Building makes it difficult for one mass of 250 people to exit while another enters. Perhaps by moving back a couple feet we can eliminate the chaos and frustration of unsuccessfully moving through a mass of determined people.
Sincerely,
Stop Stepping on My Feet

Dear Life,
The Turret was bumpin’ last night! I’m going next Saturday to grind up on some young fillies. Come with!
Sincerely,
Denim Cock Grinder

Dear Life,
I sincerely enjoy living, but the front steps at the entrance to the FNCC threaten to rob me of that joy.
Sincerely,
Not a Fucking Billy Goat

Dear Life,
I am again disappointed IN the Cord. I wrote in to “vent my anger” and i wound up with a dear life with typos and incomplete sentences. I’m sorry, I realize life isn’t all sunshine and daisies and that the cord is a lot of work to put out but please edit. As MLIA shared with us, there is a difference between “Let’s eat Grandma” and “Let’s eat, Grandma” and it goes to show that “grammar saves lives.
Sincerely,
There’s no ‘F’ in in