Fads that should never re-surface

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Spring trends have hit stores in full force and with any luck we will soon be able to enjoy a mildly warm day outside without the fear of a random snowstorm. In regards to spring 2013, some of the trends we’ve seen before are returning for another season: statement sunglasses, Bermuda shorts, leather and bold stripes.

Fashion works in a cycle and it is constantly re-using and re-inventing styles from the past into a more wearable and hopefully, more fashionable trend. While some styles can make a successful comeback, such as leggings or printed pants, others can crash and burn. I decided to take a trip down memory lane and narrow down, in no particular order, the top five trends that should never make a comeback.

1. Designer trucker hats
Remember when Von Dutch was a thing?

Worn by Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Ashton Kutcher and even Justin Timberlake, this brand was everywhere between 2003 and 2005. In fact, they were doing so well that sales hit $55 million in 2004. Luckily, Von Dutch got too popular too fast and has since, faded away into minor obscurity. I never understood the hype, but I do know that I’m glad it’s gone.

2. Velour sweat pants
Popularized by Juicy Couture, this was the student uniform of the early 2000s. And why wouldn’t it be?

Matching jackets and bottoms used to be at the height of fashion and who didn’t love having “JUICY” spread right across their butt cheeks?

Never mind the fact that these over-priced velour sweat suits were glorified towels that opened the gateway to TNA pants, Lululemons and “designer” sweatpants as real clothing — and this is coming from a girl who had three different colours to wear in her arsenal.

Here is my philosophy: If you look like you’re heading to the gym instead of class, there is a problem.

3. Ed Hardy
When I think Ed Hardy, I think of old Snooki’s “ideal man”: a juicehead with too much hair gel, too many muscles and a tattoo-inspired ensemble that involves an excessive
use of skulls, roses, hearts and the like. It’s almost mind boggling that someone would spend that much money on an Ed Hardy shirt.

4. Gold Lame leggings
Two words: Camel toe. I don’t know if it’s the material or the fact that leggings are a hard topic to address because of the pants versus not-pants debate, but every time I see a pair of gold leggings outside of a costume party I shudder inside.

They draw attention to any small dimple or ripple in your lower body. I applaud those with the guts to try, but realistically, this should be reserved for Homecoming when that one guy decides to wear leggings and nothing else to show his school spirit.

5. Embellished jeans
The last time it was acceptable to have rhinestones, beads and/or thick threads used to display designs prominently on denim, you were probably 14 and still thought that J-14 or YM was the mecca for fashion advice.

There is nothing flattering about a grown woman wearing a pair of jeans that have a diamond butterfly glittering up the side of her leg. There is nothing wrong with big prints or big ideas in fashion, but for the sake of us that live in the real world, please refrain from wasting money on jeans that you could make yourself just by using a hot-glue gun. I think the motto should be clear here: less is more.

While this list is short, I’m sure there are several more trends that we can look back on and wonder how we ever thought it was cool. I’m sure in another ten years I’ll be wondering why I insisted on buying a pair of mint green jeans or why the crop top managed to stick around for more than one season.

Until then, let’s just pretend we’re only getting trendier by the year.

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