Dear Life: Oct. 6, 2010

Dear Life,

Why are some of the guys at Laurier sporting mullets?

Sincerely,
Don’t they know that’s just gross

Dear Life,

Note to psychology first years: Homecoming is about going out with your friends and getting drunk, not about going home to play farmville… but yes I agree it is crazy how people can get so obsessed over it.

Sincerely,
Hope your crops are doing well

Dear Life,

Moronic dick-heads who come to a party with 15 other guys and then go on to complain that the party has too many guys and not enough girls. My advice to you is to sit down, shut up, and enjoy the fact that you are not sitting at home with your finger in your ass.

Sincerely,
Rant of the Week

Dear Life,

The only reason I read The Cord is to laugh at the Bag O’ Crime and Dear Life and complete the Sudoku.

Sincerely,
What has The Cord come to?
PS Where is that egg donor ad, OSAP is late I would like to donate my eggs for money (I am a white female)

Dear Life,

I’m getting really sick of the lack of passion being emitted here. It comes to no surprise that the majority of students here really truly find motivation in doing one thing: getting drunk. Why give away life to forgotten memories? It’s only repeating a life that’s been done before. This I’ll never fully understand. It seems like people here don’t want to be unique and passionate; it’s only a simple case of ‘following the leader’. Nothing new or great happens here; laziness, stupidity, and conformity govern this drunken slumber. Profs; enthusiasm is key.

Sincerely,
I already want to switch schools, bravo

Dear Life,

Let’s settle this issue once and for all.
1. Leggings are okay with a long shirt, short dress or skirt that covers the butt completely. I don’t care how good you think your butt looks, it should never be seen in that much detail in public. The difference between sexy and tacky is the element of mystery, so don’t give it all away at once.
2. Metallic leggings are the Antichrist. They outline everything that shouldn’t be seen and make it shiny.
3. If you absolutely must wear short shorts or a short skirt, do not wear a long shirt. If I’m walking behind you, I want to be 100% sure you’re at least wearing something aside from underwear on the bottom.
4. I prefer not to wear sweatpants in public, but at least they leave everything to the imagination.
5. Wear clothes that fit. Nobody should have to be worried they might see you naked due to your clothes spontaneously ripping.

Sincerely,
Someone who has decency

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