Arts bites: Feb. 10, 2010

Oasis guitarist delays Canadian justice system

Noel Gallagher will fly to Toronto in April to deliver a victim-impact statement against a Pickering man who drunkenly knocked him over onstage at Toronto’s Virgin Festival in August 2008.

The trial against the man is being delayed until Gallagher can find time to travel to Canada.

The 48-year-old contractor who fell across the stage and hip-checked the Oasis guitarist into a speaker, resulting in three broken ribs, has no recollection of the incident – much the same way Gallagher has no recollection of his band’s successful days or the past 15 years.

For some entertainment, watch the clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX5JBsKih0c&feature=player_embedded.
–Mike Lakusiak

Rip Torn arrested for being drunk in a bank with a gun

Rip Torn was arrested Friday night in a Connecticut bank after he was found intoxicated and carrying a loaded revolver.

The 78-year-old actor was apparently so drunk that he thought he was at home and had removed his hat and boots and left them at the bank’s door after breaking a window in order to enter. His alcohol level was three times the legal limit.

Torn remembers nothing of the night and blames actor Will Smith for zapping him with that stick with the light on it that erases your memory.

The moral of the story is that if you’re really old, famous and your name is Rip Torn, you can do whatever the fuck you want.
–Mike Lakusiak

Saints vs. Colts, Letterman vs. Leno

In a rather amusing, yet slightly shocking move, NBC’s Tonight Show host Jay Leno appeared in a 15 second commercial with CBS rival David Letterman, promoting Letterman’s Late Show.

The ad was reminiscent of the 2007 spot for Letterman’s show in which he and Oprah Winfrey posed as a married couple watching the big game. This year, the commercial added Leno sitting on the other side of Winfrey, acting like Letterman’s unwanted guest.

This display of humour acts as the most public appearance shared by the two late-night titans since Leno inherited The Tonight Show over Letterman in 1992. In other news, Conan O’Brien is still unemployed.
–Wade Thompson

Jones gathers talented crew

When gathering his ensemble for “We Are the World” 2010, it seems that legendary music producer Quincy Jones either couldn’t get any of his first choices to sing on the record or has been taking a daily dose of crazy for some time now.

For every quality performer who he has gathered to lay down the new version of the track, there are two that have little to no talent.

For every Gladys Knight, we have all three Jonas Brothers. Brian Wilson and Barbara Streisand? I see them and raise you three former American Idol contestants.

Considering the 1985 version of the song boasted some of the greatest musical talent of the time period, it’s really saying a lot that Brandy, Enrique Iglesias and Snoop Dogg are on this roster, isn’t it?
–Wade Thompson

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