A St. Patrick’s Day checklist

We know when St. Patrick’s Day approaches there’s always a laundry-list of things you have to get done before, and during, the celebration to make sure it is going to be just as memorable as last year. So we have decided to make it easy for you. Here are some things to remember this Mar. 17 for your St. Paddy’s Day checklist.

1. Friends: You will need a good group to stick with this year so make sure you don’t get isolated. The last thing you need is to be alone, decked out in green and wearing a questionable amount of green face paint with the inability to form a grammatically correct sentence. Have you heard the saying “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer”? Ignore that. Keep your friends close this St. Paddy’s and the rest will come together.

2. Beer: Beer is quite obviously an integral part to a good time this St. Paddy’s Day. Whether you funnel it, shotgun it, sip it or chug it, if you’re of age you should definitely drink lots of beer for this festive day. Getting a good beer-buzz going just puts you in the spot for St. Paddy’s. Be happy, sing lots and cheers an uncanny amount.

3. Clothing: Think the green version of homecoming. We’re talking head-to-toe in green ladies and gentlemen. Don’t hold back in what you’re wearing, the cooler the St. Paddy’s day outfit equals the more St. Paddy’s day respect, and that’s definitely going to be important later on in your life. Plus, if you dress really green there’s a good chance you’ll be asked to do an interview with CTV when they report on St. Paddy’s Day mayhem — then you’ll be famous.

4. That one really drunk guy: The importance of this guy on your St. Paddy’s day checklist cannot be understated. Make friends with, or if you’re lucky you’ll already know someone like, the guy who is stumbly but funny. He’s been hanging around the keg all day and now he’s ready to adventure the streets of Ezra, Marshall, Hickory, Hazel. Make sure you steer clear from oncoming traffic and this adventure could turn into the highlight of your St. Paddy’s Day.

5. Plans: Make sure you have plans! Sure, just “winging it” on St. Paddy’s Day can be fun, but you need to have back-up plans. There’s no telling what the Waterloo police are going to be up to this year, you’ve got to have a secondary kegger scouted out in advance. You and your roommates ending up one-eye open in your living room at 3 p.m. is considered a major fail in St. Paddy’s day terms, don’t let that atrocity happen to you.

There you have it, your St. Patrick’s Day checklist. Have fun, be safe and meticulously follow this checklist and you will be great. Cheers.