Red Menace at Laurier

It is with utmost concern that I pen this memorandum. It has recently come to my attention that the WLUSU Board of Directors has been infected by the ever present Red Spectre. I have compiled a secret list detailing the names of a number of Directors and I fear that as time progresses this list will only expand.

For now, I can say for certain that no less than 7% of the Board’s voting assembly falls under the stipulations I have created for categorizing this Red Threat. I shall merely say that one Kyle H., has been recently spotted wearing such revolutionary items as a shirt actively supporting Liberal Party Leader Michael Ignatieff!

What with the recent rise in Obamamania among our friends to the south, this new development at home is most shocking. Alas, we should have seen this threat sooner as even the campaign posters of our dear Kyle H. drew heavily upon Mr. Obama’s campaign.

Currently, this is the only solid evidence I will be providing the public with the hopes that they will take action and oppose this new menace that has so suddenly plagued our campus. If we do not take a stand soon, I fear my publications will be forced to increase in volume with the aim of opening our campus’ eyes to the pending storm off to the Left.

–Jesse Finn

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