From the archives: 1968

The rate at which the new “Coke” machines have been taking in money without dispensing drinks in return should result in the accumulation of funds of such magnitude that it will no longer be necessary to have an Office of University Resources.
–Prof G.F. Durst, Sept. 27

Rivulets of water originating from a cooler in the first floor lounge ran down the centre of my room, eroding the tile and water marking my Sunday-best shoes, which I wear on Wednesday to fool people. Why the deluge?
–Miss Wringing Wet, Oct. 4

It’s about the guys on campus who have not as yet, (even after 13 years of schooling and lessons on public conduct from their mommies and daddies), mastered the difficult task of keeping their pants up.

We are referring, of course, to the group of “gentlement” who parade around in front of women’s residence windows with their pants down around their knees. It’s about time they started acting their age instead of their shoe size.
–D Wing, Nov. 8

We would like to reply to the prim and proper young ladies of “D” Wing on their rather ludicrous attempt at satire which appeared in last week’s Cord. They commented on the white knights
charging with lances waving in the light of the moons on one Thursday evening past.

Therefore, because of their reaction, we challenge them to a joust. So en guard ladies or will it be touche.
–Starved East Hall 2B, Nov. 15