Editors Note: Timing isn’t everything
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships.
Every relationship is different. And different relationships take on different levels of seriousness at different points in time.
For some people, it can take months or years to consider your relationship with someone serious. But for others, sometimes it can take a shorter amount of time for a relationship to feel like it’s right.
On top of this, each person in a relationship has a past. People may take more or less time to process a new relationship due to past experiences.
Whether positive or negative, these experiences allow us to either feel confident in new relationships; or, in contrast, it might make individuals more cautious or careful with a new partner.
But regardless of how fast or slow someone takes their relationship, no matter how public or private they choose to keep their relationship, I don’t believe it’s the right of anyone outside of that relationship to place judgement.
Your relationship is just as valid as everyone else’s regardless of the pace you move at. Of course, I’m also guilty of doing this in the past and I’m certainly no relationship expert.
I am currently in what I would consider my first very serious relationship. My past relationships have taught me different things and have ultimately made me the person I am today.
That being said, the things those relationships have taught me what I am looking for in a partner. And right now, I can say that my current partner provides me with the things that make me happy and what I consider to be a healthy relationship.
I wouldn’t say our relationship moved fast. I knew my girlfriend for over six months before we officially started dating, and I think we did a pretty good job communicating about how we felt with our pace and our feelings. And as a result, I’m confident in where we’re heading.
Celebrating our six month anniversary this month, my girlfriend and I always talk about how people pose judgements on how we have gone all out for birthdays or talk about our future together with such certainty.
But no one knows about the inner workings of our relationship, no one knows about our past relationships and how we’ve changed and grown in the past and together in our short time together.
We’re not perfect by any means, but no relationship can be.
I think it’s silly to pose judgements on relationships, whether that be about how soon a couple is posting photos on Instagram, their way of showing affection, how soon a couple moves in together, etc.
The goal of maintaining a healthy relationship is happiness and growth, and as long as that is being fostered, the nit-picking of little details like the timeline are ultimately irrelevant.