Feelings suck.
There I said it. I really hate having feelings.
If I was super into astrology I would probably say that I feel feelings so intensely because I am a Pisces.
But everyone has feelings, and everyone must learn how to navigate through life with their feelings.
Something I noticed, more so this year, is that everyone is constantly apologizing for having feelings, as if they are not a natural part of life. A lot of people can easily validate the feelings their friends have while invalidating their own.
When my friends are talking to me about how they feel, I will always listen and validate how they are feeling, letting them know that I am here for them.
While, often times when I’m having a breakdown or when I’m in my feels, I will say things like “I know I’m crazy” or “I know I should not be feeling like this”.
I want to counter that notion from now on — feelings are valid simply because you are experiencing them.
Feelings are not a right or wrong thing; they are rather a reflection of your thoughts and experiences. This is why two people could have a fight but feel two completely different emotions afterwards. We are often taught that some feelings should be ignored, which is likely a reason why we devalue our own feelings.
“There is no need to be scared” is an example of people slightly devaluing your feelings. When I was younger, I was terrified of horror movies and I would never want to watch them.
People would often tell me that there is no need to be scared, as if being scared is not a normal reaction a 10-year-old would have to watching a horror movie.
“You’re being dramatic,” is another example, I often heard this when I was upset about things when I was younger, because my friends couldn’t relate to my feelings.
Validating your own feelings is important and something that we need to normalize.
This is because it allows us to feel these feelings and then move on, not just push them down and potentially lash out at another date, which is the unhealthier alternative.
Validating friends’ feelings are a good way to start validating your own because to validate someone’s feelings does not mean you have to agree with the way they are feeling.
To put it simply, validating your friends feelings is just an acknowledgement that feelings are normal and natural.
When you start to look at other people’s emotions like this, it becomes easier to look at your feelings in the same light.
So while feelings suck, they are something we all have to deal with, so it’s just better to allow yourself to feel and then move on.
