Dear Life – September 16 2015

Dear Life,

So you can afford to go over the top with the naming of the Business building with a huge banner on the Globe’s webpage but you still can’t finish the directional signs around the campus.

Sincerely,

Thanks for making the rest of us feel like crap

Dear Life,

I seriously have the sweetest boyfriend ever.

Sincerely,

My boyfriend is better than your boyfriend

Dear Life,

Apparently M. Night Shyamalan has a good movie out for the first time in 12 years. I guess its time to go back and watch all of the movie I skipped.

Sincerely,

Who cares about readings anyways

Dear Life,

BB Guns from rooftops? Really? What are we, Texas?

Sincerely,

I live in Canada for a reason

Dear Laurier,

If you thought fourth year senioritis is bad, try dealing with it in sixth year.

Sincerely,

Checked out 2 years ago

Dear Loser,

You make me touch your hands for stupid reasons.

Sincerely,

I hate you, I’ve always hated you

Dear WLU and OSAP,

Do you have any idea how much your disorganization affects my mental health? no? let me enlighten you. not knowing if i can pay my rent in september makes me suicidal. not knowing if i have to starve until the 8th, 10th or later makes it impossible to sleep at night. getting notified that my funding has been released and seeing -2.90 in my bank account makes me cry-laugh in a not at all funny way. not being able to see my syllabi until the 10th MAKES LITERALLY NO SENSE. you want me to be prepared for the new school year but you won’t let me plan my schedule or eat or do anything other than wait for your slow asses to get your shit together! don’t tell me to rely on foodbanks (this summer i waited 2 weeks for wlu’s to get back to me and let’s not even talk about the fact that KW’s one food bank has a limit of 6 VISITS PER YEAR) and don’t tell me to call a helpline and don’t tell me it gets better because IT IS YOUR RESPO NSIBILITY TO NOT FUCK THIS SHIT UP IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Sincerely,

you’re just a business school for the elite and i can’t wait to be done with you

Dear Life,

I love it when I decide to grace the Laurier library’s silent 7th study floor, only to be met with some dude blasting music and singing along in his own cubicle. Nothing appeases me more than distraction from an actually successful graduate application. I didn’t really wanna be a lawyer anyway!

Sincerely,

You are terrible, not only at singing, but also at life.

Dear Life,

Pumpkin spice lattes are gross.

Sincerely,

Sweater-wearing, fall-loving, pumpkin-candle-burning white girl with taste buds

Dear Life,

I just want to cuddle something/someone other than my body pillow. Is that too much to ask?

Sincerely,

Ms. Lonely

Dear Life,

Roommates who are allergic to cats are the worst. I want a furry friend that’s not my pillow pet.

Sincerely,

Cat Lady