Dear Life – July 15 2015

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Dear Life,
Hey Max
It sure would have been nice to have been asked it I want giant statues all over the campus. How come no one knew about this.
Oh, now I remember…you are desperate for some kinda legacy
Sincerely,
eating lunch with Kim Campbell

Dear Life,
Why could I not do anything but worry? Why could I not just send her funny pictures or written a little story about one of our photos when we were arguing. She would be angry with me, I thought. Oh, how wrong was I. I might have lost her forever, worse still I feel as if I’ve lost myself in my worry. Can I ask her to return to a lost soul?
Sincerely,
someone feeling lost

Dear Life,
C’mon, why isn’t the Starbucks open this summer?? Seriously…
Sincerely,
Timmy’s Hater

Dear Life,
So far this summer the only thing I’ve learned is DO NOT HOOK UP WITH A CO-WORKER. I repeat: do. not. hook. up. with. a. coworker.
Sincerely,
That crashed and burned and now everybody’s talking.

Dear Life,
People, you gotta check your facts. First off it was Adam Hughes not Andrew, research is an important part of the university experience. Secondly don’t blame the “WLUSU” Board Chair, if you’re so passionate about the problems run in the next election.
Sincerely,
Graduated but can’t put the Cord down

Dear Phil’s,
At 23 years old I thought I was old enough to finally handle you. That was clearly a lie to myself. Clearly.
Sincerely,
Its 2:00 pm and I’m still hungover

Dear ex boyfriend,
You do realize that by deleting me off Facebook you’re showing me that you are in fact *not* over me?
Sincerely,
That’s so petty its like Tom Petty

Dear Life,
I finally get a day off from work and instead of being productive all I really want to do is watch Netflix and eat Kraft Dinner.
Sincerely,
Making good use of this beautiful day

Dear Life,
Real humiliation is posting an Instagram selfie and have no one like it after 15 minutes.
Sincerely,
Its too late to delete, omg they know its up there

Dear Life,
I only wear pants because people make fun of my pale legs. But now my legs are only getting more pale.
Sincerely,
Pale Paradox

Dear Life,
You’re so chill.
Sincerely,
Chad

Dear Life,
I don’t care if it’s 30 degrees out, the jacket isn’t coming off.
Sincerely,
Swagged the fuck out

Dear Life,
Pants are the worst.
Sincerely,
Everyone

Dear Human,
I know I’m a good boy, now please leave me alone.
Sincerely,
Duke

Dear Life,
I just want to be tan but apparently I can’t have that without simultaneously shedding my skin.
Sincerely,
Peeling all over

Dear Life,
Why do dogs farts smell?
Sincerely,
My assaulted nose

Dear Life,
How many times do I have to fall in love before I find The One?
Sincerely,
Does The One even really exist?

Dear Life,
If you think my life’s a mess, you should see my bedroom.
Sincerely,
Someone

Dear Laurier,
It’s logical that my classes are Monday and Wednesday. However it is not logical that my other classes on are Tuesday and Friday. If I have a taste of freedom on Thursday, those Friday classes are just too hard to make it to.
Sincerely,
Taking a four day weekend.

Dear Life,
Why do all these 20 year olds in University think they know ANYTHING at all about the world?
Sincerely,
We really don’t.

Dear Laurier,
Your old friend Wilf here. Word on the quad is that I’m soon to be joined by 22 of my colleagues around campus. I’m going to try and maintain my sunny ways about this, but our campus is pretty small. Where is everyone going to go? How are they going to be posed? Is Jean Chretien going to be giving someone a Shawinigan handshake? Is Mackenzie King going to be sitting with a crystal ball? I just hope people remember I’m still around.
Sincerely,
Don’t You, Forget About Me

Dear Lorier,
Why are we putting up so many statues of Prime Ministers? No one knows who they are! We should put up some of Canada’s best musicians- Avril Laveen, Shania, Celeen Deon, Drake- people that people know about!
Sincerely,
we have a music faculty!

Dear Life,First WLUSU lets IPRM happen, does nothing about our geese problem, and now they’re gonna let 22 statues get put everywhere? What ever happened to advocacy and representation!!! What’s next, turning the quad into a bowling alley!!
Sincerely,
WLUSU? More like WLUS-EW!

Dear Life,
I’m just bracing myself for incoming first-years who take a selfie with SJAM or the other new statues and think that he’s Wilf.
Sincerely,
Wilfisgettingnewfriends

Dear Life,
Although I think it’s great that icebreaker pairs are no longer gendered, it leads me to question how other union volunteers will be effected. Will FOOT pairings be changing as well?
Sincerely,
Avidwalker

Dear Life,
The Cord sucks monkey balls
Sincerely,
Anonymous

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